I’m not going to sugar-coat it. I suck at real-life networking. I do OK online, but still panic a little when reaching out to someone I don’t know whether via Twitter or leaving a comment on a blog post. I have no idea why I am this way, I don’t remember some horrible experience that scarred me for life. Of course, maybe that memory is just totally repressed. I am comfortable in a sales meeting or phone call that has been scheduled. I really do love speaking in front of a group, but put me in the middle of a room with people and I’m going to do one of 2 things: 1) Look for someone I know and hang out with them or 2) play on my iPhone. I told you, I suck.
I have become increasingly frustrated by my behavior because I am really missing some great opportunities to meet people. Last Saturday I attended a great event for Women Bloggers hosted by the wonderful Jen and Lara called Momz Share. It was a great opportunity to meet some wonderful women bloggers and I blew it. Totally blew it. I walked into the kitchen, got a drink, found someone I knew and proceeded to have the most wonderful time talking to her, but we never moved out of the kitchen. I did meet a few people on my way out that I had conversed with on Twitter, but did not muster up the nerve to approach anyone totally new.
I spent most of Sunday, beating myself up for this behavior. My biggest fear is that people won’t realize I am painfully shy and they will think I am a snob that doesn’t want to meet anyone. So after I was done beating myself up, I realized I have some more opportunities over the next 6 to 8 months to network at conferences. After the initial panic wore off, I realized I need to change my ways or not even bother attending any of these events.
Now I am on a mission to get over my fear of introducing myself to new people so that I can actually enjoy myself and make the investment in these conference worthwhile. So, I ask you, my friend, how do you get over your fear of networking. Any tips or strategies to help me? Please share.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m often the same way and while I didn’t meet everyone I really wanted to I did make great strides and just plopped myself into conversations. Everyone was soooo nice at MomzShare next time it’s going to be easy breezy.
I suggest you get a big ol’ Great Dane and raise him as a service dog. I’m kidding, but only a little bit. It really IS hard to walk into a room and make new acquaintances. It’s tough, plain and simple. But I think it’s a skill that can be improved if practiced enough.
Sometimes what helps get me through an event (if I don’t have the dog), is to remind myself that my purpose is to find out about someone else. What they do, where they’re from, how they got involved, what’s their connection to the event, all that kind of stuff.
Then it seems that the other networking stuff happens naturally, without pain. :)
I still think you should bring a big dog with you, though.
I actually find this very difficult, also. I find it’s easier to get to know people if I have a specific role to play … So maybe at the next Momz Share, offer to serve punch or greet guests at the door or whatever?
I’ve also heard multiple networking gurus say that it’s a good strategy to have a “wingman” … Approach new people as a duo. Not sure how well this works, but we can try it at BlogHer if you want. ;-)
P.S. — I can vouch for the fact that Laurie is the most popular person at a networking event when she brings Talos with her. Ha ha!
Thanks for the support ladies.
Laurie, I think you are right. I better start bringing Sierra with me to meetings ;-)
Jess, love the idea of a wingman. We’ll definitely try it out at BlogHer.
Here are two tips that have worked for me:
1. Have a networking goal in mind before you go to the event. For example, make a plan to meet 3 new people. You’ll be able to gauge your success throughout the event and compete against yourself to meet (and hopefully exceed!) your initial goal.
2. Stand by the door/entrance into the event and smile confidently (even if you feel like a complete dork, invoke an Academy Award-winning performance). Networking doesn’t come naturally or feel comfortable for lots of people, so you’re not alone. By standing near the entrance, other people will approach you because they don’t know anyone either. You may be asked if you know where the sign-in table, restrooms, etc. are located, but it’s at least a start to a conversation.
I’m the same way. Hate walking into a room full of people. Hate approaching ongoing conversations to break in. Hate it, hate it, hate it.
Feh.
I know you aren’t going to believe me here, but I struggle with the same things. I’ll find someone I know or strike up a convo with one person and attach myself to them. It’s taken me years to get to a point where I really put myself out there. And now.. boy to I ever! In all honesty though I get sick to my stomach, over analyze everything I say, talk to much and inevitably find out I’ve spent half the event with something stuck in my teeth. The nice thing about Momz Share is many of us are in the same place and because we’ll be doing this quarterly you can keep coming back for more. And HONESTLY Beth I hope you do!